Hey, iPhone—It’s over.

Who else grabs their phone to use the restroom? Just me?

In this day and age, where your Instagram story represents your mood and your LinkedIn profile can signify your economic worth, it can be hard to understand where your phone ends and you begin.

We use our phones to take pics of our meals, help us do our jobs, and talk to our loved ones. Dare I say it… we’re all dating our phones. They’re the closest thing to us without a heartbeat, and yet when they shut off, we say that it’s “dead.” This terminology caused me to dig deeper and ask myself: how close is too close? And is it time to friend-zone my phone?

About a year ago, I began tracking my screen time. Now, because I listen to soundscapes while I sleep, I rake in 8 hours of phone time right at the start of my day. 

Throughout the day, I will conscientiously put my phone away while I do my job. But, after work, it woos me back with every text ding or, even worse, a legitimate reason to check—like needing to look up directions or ask Google a serious question like, “What is the song that played during the breakup scene in the 'Nobody Wants This' TV series?”

It’s instant information at our fingertips, and for most of us, we’re totally overloaded. How do I know this is potentially a “we” problem and not just a “me” problem? Thanks for asking. It’s because I happen to be a millennial. I remember what life was like before smartphones. When I was waiting somewhere unfamiliar, I had two choices: stare at a wall and psychoanalyze my life, or talk to someone. We used to get to know strangers, but now we ignore the person in front of us on the train or plane and scroll through the strangers on our newsfeeds.

Data backs me up. According to a data management study conducted by Harmony Healthcare IT, the average American adult spends about 4 hours and 37 minutes looking at their phone each day. 

When you multiply that by one year, that amounts to approximately 70 days on your phone. The average book takes 5 hours to read. That’s nearly 70 books. Language Fluency takes around 83 days. Are you catching my drift? With the same time we spend googling, gaming, scrolling, emailing, texting, and YouTubing, we could be enriching our lives beyond measure. Yet, the cat video hashtag has over 38 million posts on TikTok.

When did it start? My first smartphone was an iPhone. I never had a Blackberry, and in the beginning, we were just acquaintances. I’d check in every now and then—take a selfie, text a friend. But somewhere between social media hitting the scene and being able to do actual work on my phone, I got lost in the sauce and found it harder and harder to just exist with my thoughts. And no, I don’t have my phone in my hand at all times. Phone relationships are much more crafty. They come with clingy device friends to keep you hooked on media. If you’re not holding a phone, then you’re with its best friend, the TV, or its mother, your laptop. However, what this ‘tech lover’ doesn’t ever tell you is that the grass is, in fact, greener on the other side of blue light.

According to the Mayo Clinic, reducing screen time can prevent obesity, improve sleep, foster creativity, strengthen social connections, and boost your mood. When I read this (on my phone), I knew it was time to write my Dear John letter. Well, it was more of a “boundaries letter.” Inside my head, I had to create rules. Why? Because the warning isn’t included in the box with the charging cable. When iPhones were introduced, we should have all received a PSA announcement that read:

*May cause breakups, compromise your family time, ruin the way you resolve conflicts, inflict ghosting, and the little apps are highly addictive. You’ve been warned.*

So here are my new boundaries:  

I will not touch my phone when I wake up. I bought one of those ancient things called an alarm clock, and that will wake me up. I will begin my morning routine with coffee, journaling, and silence. I will no longer allow my phone to dictate my mood and energy for the day—because of the texts or news I see. No, I will fill my heart and mind with gratitude and put it in writing. I will limit social media to 15 minutes a day after work, and I will not— I repeat, WILL NOT—check my phone while I’m speaking with an actual human.

These rules aren’t meant to supersede emergencies or common sense, of course, but they will be valuable guideposts to get me back to the real world because life is not virtual, no matter how much our tech lover wants us to believe it is. Furthermore, I have learned that we can’t just eliminate a habit without replacing it or we’ll end up right back where we started. So, I am dedicated to two new things that will consume my idle time in a positive way. I will finish reading one book every week, and I am excited to have more game nights with my two teenage daughters. 

Our phones are here to help us be more present and make our lives easier—not pull us further apart from each other and our inner thoughts. Yes, look up the restaurant with your phone, but do be sure to put it down for the entire dinner. I remember hearing a friend's voicemail. She said, “Hi, you’ve reached Susie. If it’s an emergency—please hang up and dial 9-1-1.” I chuckled and never forgot that reminder. Most messages can wait. Being present is indeed one of life’s greatest gifts. The best way to unwrap a gift is to have total focus, with both hands and eyes experiencing the moment. 

So, dear iPhone… it’s not me—it’s you. We don’t have to be estranged, but you’ll be seeing me a lot less. It’s a human thing. You wouldn’t understand.

Time Difference

View outside of my bedroom window

My circadian rhythm is still set to East Coast time. Around 8pm at night, I look like the Sleepy dwarf in Snow White. I love having an extra three hours of daylight, which I think about every time I text my mom. But, I must admit that I feel tired all the time now. So, that means I must perform a reset. I am going to go to sleep early tonight and wake early, for at least two days in a row. Someone needs to tell my body that we're not in a John Denver song anymore. 'Country Roads' is far away and I refuse to take melatonin. 

I don't have an addictive personality. When I feel myself using something too much, or, even worse, depending on it -- I will see it as the plague, and strategize how I will go without it. Melatonin was becoming a crutch for me in many ways. A few months ago, I had a hard time falling asleep without it. And on top of that, I loved the drowsy feeling. There's nothing like being 5% checked out when your daughters are arguing about setting powder.

Good thing the store is walking distance and not a drive away. When you can drive to something -- it's so darn convenient, that you just might drive to your detriment and not even realize it. For instance, you would go through a drive-through and get a Big Mac with extra sauce and extra lettuce -- my order. But, would you walk to it? Probably not. So, having that buffer space between my sleep aid and our apartment was just what I needed to ween myself off. 

My appetite has adjusted perfectly -- no surprise. My trusty ol' gut is no different than Winnie the Pooh. When you're a foodie, you can fall into a new time zone effortlessly. I am hungry at 9am -- which feels like 6am in my mind. Ordinarily, I would never be hungry at 6am. However, it's like my tummy just knew, "This is when we eat here and that's okay." The food here is delicious. 

And there's a place call The Donut Bar that I have been avoiding. 

I will try it one of these days. Maybe a reward for going to the gym twice in a day? I get donut-guilt. There's zero health benefit and after it's gone -- I'm still hungry! It's highway robbery. I have all the calories and not even a token of appetite curb in my stomach. I can find the benefit in eating other unhealthy food if I'll at least feel full. But, donuts evaporate and then manifest as cellulite monsters on the places you least expect. I can't. However, for you, dear reader -- I will try one. After all, the reviews, the accolades (which they have posted on their storefront) are worth a bite. 

My weakness is brownies. I've never seen a brownie I didn't like. Their chocolatey, decadent, and full of textures that make me woosah instantly. It's filling too. One brownie and a coffee will set me until lunch. Which is why I don't buy them. Life hack: don't buy your favorite junk food anything. Cabinet snacks must be healthy because it's the 'grab and go' food. I paid in full for this lesson, several times in my life. If you want to purchase it and you're out of the house, it's a treat. However, if the food is in your cabinet, it might as well be a crack pipe. Because convenient junk food will call your name in Spanish. Next thing you know, you have crumbs on your mouth, the bag is empty, and you throw away the evidence in a random trashcan outside of the kitchen -- not that I've done this.  

Smoked Salmon?

I am now living 2,505 miles away from everyone who knows me and all my quirks. When we landed at the San Diego airport, I made a point to talk to myself in a whisper. I would often go through major life changes in total silence — just going through the motions. However, while I was walking through the passenger boarding bridge to the destination gate, I said, “I am going to be the highest expression of myself.” I had to hear the words reverberate out loud. It took so much planning, moving, and money to make this move happen. And now, it’s a story told. When putting in my address for basic forms or delivery service, I casually type the street name and zip code, as if I was always here. In some way, I think I was. 

I liken this move to the experience of becoming a parent. You wait nine long months to meet your bundle. So, by the time you hear your child call you mommy or daddy, it feels natural — your countenance agrees like, yes, that’s who I am. 

I daydreamed of palm trees and cool cafes while curled up on my oversized sectional in Virginia. There’s a zing in the air here. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But, the carefree nature of people and professionalism makes me smile. You’ll see a businessman with colorful socks and flip-flops having a casual conversation with a female colleague who mirrors his style. And the best part is, everyone is a “transplant” — a new term. On the West Coast, they call people who weren’t born here transplants, and I love it. Meeting someone who was actually born in San Diego is like going to Mars and seeing a Martian. You know they must be there, but meeting them is extra special. They know the lay of the land and all the best places that are Instagram-worthy. 

The past 9 days can be defined by one word: Amazon. Did I tell you that Amazon is my best friend? He knows what I like, suggests things I need, and brings me my packages within two days. We completely started over in this new apartment. Why? Because what’s a fresh start with old dishes? I wanted to feel completely brand new. No reminders of anything connected to 'once upon a time'. Chapter 2024 is all about newness and reinvention. 

Our apartment complex is such that your self-esteem immediately improves when you walk the floors and use the amenities. It doesn’t take more than a few days to hear yourself say, "Yeah, I deserve a hot jacuzzi after a long day. Of course, the mail room should shine a blue light on the package that's mine so there’s no confusion. What would I do without a 2,000-square-foot lounge or state-of-the-art 24-hour gym?" It’s surreal. And full disclosure, it makes me want to cry. Happy tears. Every day.

The sun comes up on the left side of my bedroom window. 

I found that the architecture in most buildings here includes wall-sized windows and it is a feast for the eyes. Oh, how thankful I am for this view… this life. Even when I am doing nothing, I remind myself that just being here is an answered prayer. 

My children are adjusting well. Every day they learn how much more independence they have here and it’s a treat to witness. Currently, I am at the Modern Times cafe, waiting for my youngest daughter, Mila, to meet with me and get some schoolwork done. In suburbia, I would never ask her to walk 15 minutes to meet me anywhere. Mainly because I am a proud 'hovercrafting parent'. But, in the city, youth independence is normal and gives them the chance to practice navigation and being responsible. However, I must admit that I do track their devices to make sure I can always get to them in the event of an emergency. When will I stop tracking their locations? I plead the fifth.

The Modern Times Cafe.

I passed by this restaurant yesterday in the rain. There was a beautiful girl at her laptop in the window and funky vibes inside — from what I could see. Turns out, being lost in the rain isn’t a bad thing. I told myself, “I am going back to write at that cafe tomorrow.” And here I am at the moment. I ordered avocado toast and the cashier asked, “Would you like smoked salmon on top? It’s really good.” I must admit that I did see that option and wasn't going to get it. But, there was something about her glee that suggested it was possibly an experience.

She was right! It hit every note and I will definitely be getting this delicious meal on toast again.

Before leaving the restaurant, I used the restroom. Have you truly lived if you haven’t sat on a heated toilet seat? The answer is no. When I walked in the restroom, I noticed a large, electronic toilet to my left. When I closed the door, the toilet seat lifted up on its own. I thought that was the end of toilet tricks until I sat down. Cue the oohs and ahhs. It was a perfect body temperature warm and I realized then and there… some cafes really do have it all. Perfect views. Bangin' avocado toast with smoked salmon. And a loo fit for royalty. 

We Got This

This is the face of a girl who has walked out of the jail that she built for herself.

Bondage was my home. The concrete walls and chained doors kept me safe from facing myself.

The situation I created hurt my soul. I had royally screwed up. Because I was wrong. I was wrong about my first husband. Wrong about parenting without the Holy Spirit as a young mother. Wrong about alcohol in my life. Wrong as the day is long, and I didn’t want to say it. The more I ran from the truth, the more the locks rusted on the chains.

The enemy guarded the exit under shadow power.

Shadow power is a malignant force entirely reliant upon fear, shame, and our own false narrative. What makes the narrative false is our feeling of defeat. If your story doesn’t empower you — it’s false. Paul reminds us in Romans 8:37 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Jesus said in Mark 9:23 “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

When you decide to change the ending of your story… aka the only part we actually can change — you destroy the shadow power. Once the inspired outcome is determined, you can begin taking the necessary steps to become the highest expression of yourself.

Embrace the beginning. Grace to the middle. End like a champion. 

And you know what… when God crafts a moment just for you, he gives you signs through peace and providence. Yesterday, I recorded the first podcast episode of a new show with my brother, Micah.

It was full circle and serendipitous. I needed to feel his love and give him mine. He was my best friend growing up… and over the years we hurt each other. But, don’t call it a comeback. We’re back and better than ever.

The Waterfalls Podcast on YouTube and Instagram is just getting started. Talking about our life and hot topics with him was like breathing and no doubt that the timing was divinely orchestrated. God healed our relationship so I could launch into my next chapter feeling truly free.

Whether you’re related by blood or history, the people we invest in create a puzzle shape in our hearts. We must forgive and make amends. Not because it’s easy, but because without them… we won’t be able to enjoy the full picture.

Another positively providential thing is that I got to see my sister a few days ago. 

Circa 2011

I can feel the tears welling up just typing these words. I miss Leah even while I’m with her. I loved laughing and carrying on for an hour. It was like old times. It always is.

My dad was sublime.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve been helping with his rehabilitation. He had a stroke shortly before Christmas, which made the holidays rather difficult. I loved making him oatmeal and tea. What a great experience to serve someone who knows what they want! I am not such a person. I’ll change my mind in the drive-thru several times. God is working on me. It was great to wait for him.

My mother is woven into the fabric of what makes me, me. 

I don’t know what I’d do without her. The wisdom, patience, and love she’s bestowed upon me and my children is like winning the lottery. Maybe that’s why I don’t play any numbers. Because I’ve already won. She believes in me and that makes this move real for me. I’m going to do what she knows I will do. It’s already done.

Saying goodbye to her at the airport felt like coming out of the womb for the second time. We cried much like I’m sure we did after 48 hours of labor. I want to give her and my dad the world. They taught me how to believe in myself and God. And turns out, that’s all a human needs to know.

It’s bittersweet to leave. But, as Denzel Washington said, “Dreams without a plan… are just dreams.” Planning and action are what make them come true.

I was also able to spend quality time with my niece, Meri. 

She’s one of my favorite people in the world. Partly because her mother is in the same category. And because I adore her personality. She’s got the sauce and I love it.

I had a perfect dinner with my nieces, Destiny and Dominique. Joined by my sister-in-law Keisha, and our friend Amanda. We laughed like hyenas. Have you ever told a joke and felt the laughter before the punch line? Those are the people that want to see you win. They anticipate your achievement. I even got to see my old friend Matt who owns the restaurant where we all met up. Matt and I talked for an hour and I felt loose and happy. Amanda and Keisha are accomplished RNs. They inspire me. And as fate would have it — Dominique is going to be moving to the west coast in September! I can’t wait to spend time with her under the palm trees.

So many little moments kept happening to show me that God is in this story. The other day, I accidentally bought one too many suitcases and couldn’t get a refund. Only to find out that my oldest daughter needed another suitcase. In that moment, I could feel God rubbing my back and saying,

“We got this. And by we I mean me and you.”

Sunkissed

I used to dye my hair all the time. The sweetest natural high rushed over me while mixing the ingredients together. I could feel the exhilaration creep through my pores while shaking the bottle. Because I knew I was just moments away from what felt like a rebirth. Watching the roots turn from dark brown to a different color was my way of feeling the joy of starting over. You know when you have the idea to begin a new diet? You might say, "I'll start on Monday." There's something of note regarding the demarcation of an "official restart."

Brown hair reminded me of 90's Maria. The Walkman, Ricky Lake, Backstreet Boys, baggy jeans, mini bookbags, and my dark brown hair could be locked into a 90's vault. Put away for 100 years so that people in 2095 could see the antiquated music, media, and the curly hair that belonged to a mixed girl from Virginia. 

1995

I love my brown hair. However, I identify with a sunkissed blonde. There's a glow about it that represents the light I feel inside, bursting through my darkest parts. I've dyed my hair many colors in the past. Dark blue, purple, gray, honey, black, and bleach have all had residency in my look. 

2012

2017

In 2018, something happened to me. I became depressed. You read that right. I literally saw the world in black and white and the worst part was... I didn't know I was depressed. This poignant revelation was only confirmed in retrospect. Looking back, I can see the gradual decline in my mental health expressed in many different ways. 

I was gaining weight. I was drinking alcohol every weekend, and if I wasn't working, I just wanted to sleep. The catalyst for that period was that I had to abruptly leave Los Angeles and move back to Virginia with my daughters. At the time, I was on the brink of what felt like a total breakthrough in Los Angeles. I had an incredible job, great friends, and I just bought a convertible car. Moreover, I was just six months away from getting my own apartment to welcome my children into, and then... I left it all. I flew to the Dominican Republic to pick up my daughters. They went there to spend time with their father and stepmom. However, when their stepmother died suddenly in a car accident, the visit was forced to come to an abrupt and tragic end. I am so thankful that I had the money and ability to scoop my children from unexpected devastation while their family helped put the pieces of their life together. But, it was at the cost of the bearings in my dream town.  

When you're sad, you don't feel like rejuvenating yourself with hair dye, clothes, and little acts of self-care. Why? Because you can't see clothes and tinted curls in the dark. My life was overshadowed by the weight of starting from square -1. For five years I didn't do anything to change my look because I was sad. I was what they called a functioning depressive. And I masked it with humor, pretend happiness, and staying extremely busy. But, when I would lay on my pillow at night, I would cry. Laying on my pillow, I'd sob big, salty tears. I felt like I had driven my life in the wrong direction so far... that it was beyond saving. 

They say it's darkest before the dawn. And my life story is a testament to that truism. Because when the sun broke through in my life, I forgot what dusk looked like. And, you know what? It wasn't moving or making more money that let the light in. Though, establishing those two things has wrapped me in the extra comfort of financial security and adventure. 

What made the difference in my life was Jesus. I surrendered. I stopped worshiping the God that I created in my imagination and began to read the bible. I learned who He is and by way of spending time with Him, God showed me who I am... and why we're all here. I believe we are created to pour ourselves out in service to Him. When I discovered this truth -- I was ready to open the windows of my creative heart. I felt so brand new, refreshed, and full of hope, that I could have skipped to the store when I bought the hair dye kit, ready to sun kiss my hair again. 

 

All The Little Things

We accumulate so many things as humans. I admire how animals can move, live, and take care of their young with just food and a few twigs to lay on. I've always thought of myself as a minimalist. However, while packing for our move to San Diego, one thing became abundantly clear. I may have very little decor and trinkets from history, but they were attached to my very heartstrings, and I didn't even know it. 

A few months ago, I made a moving to-do list on Trello.com (thank you, Bonnie for introducing me to it!). Sidenote: Trello looks complicated. The first time Bonnie showed it to me on a shared screen I thought, umm no. I have enough things going on, and I don't need to see the method to my madness illustrated online, only to reveal that I am one virtual Post-it away from glitching and shutting down. I have a lot to do... all the time. That's the funny thing about being a parent and working full-time. Even when I'm bored -- that just means I'm avoiding housework. Needless to say, once I learned how to create what is called a "Board" on Trello, my thought life was changed for the better. Trello helped me discover that my plan of productivity should "live" somewhere that I can see online. This way, sometimes I can actually... *pause for suspense* not think about what I have to do. But, I digress. 

On the Trello board, I listed all of the things I wasn't going to take with us and it basically went like this: If I haven't worn it in a year, and/or it doesn't fit in my suitcase -- Goodwill. Goodbye. 

This was easy to type online, but painful to do in real life. Have you ever thought about something you had to do and it felt effortless in your head, then when it came time to actually act upon it, you were stricken with emotions that froze you still as a picture frame? Sadness, memories, and a silent sigh confront your salient strategy with three words... feel this moment.

Some of my belongings held free rent space in my mind of things I love. A few to mention were my mugs. I love coffee and coffee mugs even more. I collected many throughout the years and even kept the chipped ones because hey, we're all chipped somewhere. 

Each one had a special memory and I couldn't just drink out of any coffee mug in the morning. No, the words on the mug were my mantra for the day. My favorites were the ones that read, "When Prayers Go Up Blessings Come Down", "Cat Mom" and a blue and white mug that had no words but looked like where the shore meets the ocean.

After all, we are made of dust and 60% water. When I drank from it, I was instantly reminded that my frequency is the sound of the ocean. 

I loved the artwork of my company logo that I printed on a 3x5 foot canvas and placed on the wall behind my office desk. 

As a matter of fact, when I took it off the wall, I thought to myself, this stings. I adored my typewriter. It wasn't actually a working typewriter but a prop. I loved looking at it. The keys reminded me how much stories are life's decorations.

It's how we see the beauty in the past and future. How we define our present and visualize hope. It's all a story. 

These little things had immense sentimental value to me. I wouldn't dare sell them and haggle over prices. No one could afford them. The mugs would be a million dollars each. My logo? Easily ten times more. That's why I took them to Goodwill. Because when something is priceless, the next acceptable currency is appreciation. I hope the people who obtain these things love them the way I did. 

My Midlothian home is now just a story. Holidays and birthdays, and dinner table laughter. All swirling around in a time capsule called 'remember that one time?'

I decided not to bring most of my things because I am pouring new wine into new wineskins. I will always remember the little things I loved about my home in Midlothian. However, I have learned that there are some stages that must be shed and others that need only mindful upkeep. The trinkets in my home were like a caterpillar's cocoon. They helped me feel myself in this lovely community. And now, I must let the cocoon dry up and become a part of the earth.

Walking around this empty home feels so surreal. Almost like if you got to walk past yourself in kindergarten or on graduation day. Existing in two different worlds is such a special feeling. Because it means that you're growing. It's like climbing on a ladder. At one point, your feet will be touching both where you were and where you're going. 

The wonderful thing is that we are growing as a family together. My daughters and I have lived in so many places. We've slept on a two-seater couch during a brief period of homelessness. We moved to Ohio and shared a bed in the home of a distant friend. We rented a studio apartment with only enough room to cook and complain about our limited space. We moved to a haunted one-bedroom apartment and survived the spookiest events, which forced me to tap into my inner man -- turns out he wasn't there. So many experiences, as I navigated being their protector and provider. 

One thing that is as true today as it was then, wherever we are together... is home. 

Next Stop: San Diego

This time last year, I wrote down my New Year’s resolutions. I only had two: read more and move my family to the West Coast. I am humbled and thankful to report that I now read 2-3 books a month and we are moving to San Diego on January 13th! Where’s the marching band? Where are the doves breaking free from a cage and soaring high into the heavens? Only then could you see how I feel inside.

I lived in Los Angeles in 2017. Have you ever tasted a food for the first time, but you instantly know it's your favorite? That’s how I felt when I stepped foot on the Santa Monica pier. I walked to the end of it, breathing in the sweet and salty ocean air. When I reached the end, looking out into the Pacific Ocean I could feel my spirit rest. Yes, this was my favorite. I felt at home.

There was only one thing missing. My children. They were in the Dominican Republic while I was living in LA, and so my experience was filtered with a great longing in my heart to do and be with them. Being a mother is a part of my fabric. I’ve lost the ability to do anything fun without thinking, “I wish my girls were here.” So, that was a constant thought while I grew roots in the city where movie magic happens. Every day was a new adventure. I’d hike Runyon Canyon Mountain, go to Venice Beach, or just walk down Melrose Avenue and wait for fate to do its thing.

In 2018, I moved back to Fredericksburg, Virginia with my daughters after a family tragedy made it clear that the West Coast was not destined for Chapters 2018-2023. During those years I reared my daughters into beautiful, strong, and faith-filled young women, wrote seven screenplays, began deep development to produce my script, "Son of a Preach" into a feature-length film, quit drinking alcohol, and began writing my memoir called, Plot Twist: From Broken to Breakthrough.

If there’s a lot of anything in Virginia, it’s time to write. We moved to Midlothian, Virginia in 2022. It's a quaint and quiet town. The running joke in my household is “Where do you wanna go tonight? Walmart or the movies?” In this mix of trees and suburbia, you’re either spending money on food at Walmart to sit down and eat, or, you’re at the movies, sitting down and eating their food. There’s a lot of sitting in the state for lovers. I personally, have sat down enough for a couple of lifetimes. That’s when I knew it was time for a change. 

You know it’s time to do something drastically different when life loses its color. What was once fun feels draining and what used to get you going, doesn’t even lift your mouth into a smile anymore. Oh yes, I call it the 'been there done that’ syndrome, claiming joie de vivre at an alarming rate. If you’re feeling this way, you may not need to move across the country but might need to move in a different direction. Think about the last time you genuinely smiled, feeling the joy come up from your feet and dance into your mind. What were you doing? Find a way to do it again, and more often.

It was summer 2023 and I had lost my zeal. As a writer, you can only pen so many fiction stories until you begin to feel like your make-believe characters are living better than you. Forget social media envy. I wanted to live like the people I wrote about. And so, I made the leap. My first step in the direction of my dreams wasn’t hunting for a home, or snooping around Google Earth to superimpose myself in California. 

The first thing I did was… say it out loud. “Girls, our lease is up in December. And I would like to move to California.” That’s it. I gave it life. 

I believe that words have insurmountable power. They are the energy of life and intention. For so long, I was afraid to tell anyone about my desire because moving 3,000 miles away as a single mom with two children in high school is no small feat. However, at that moment, I divorced “Can’t” -- that word is no longer in my dictionary. When my daughters agreed with glee and clapped at just the idea, that’s when the wheels began to churn. 

So, here I am, lying in bed on Christmas Eve. The house is packed up and mostly empty, and I can feel the jubilation brewing in my heart for our future in San Diego. We found a wonderful high-rise apartment, fitted with a 24-hour gym, lounge on the 40th floor, pool on the 10th floor, and bakery on the ground level in the middle of the downtown East Village. Chapter 2024 is already filled with so much promise. Timing is everything. And dare I say, it’s time to fly.